Recently I wrote about that all-too-familiar feeling — “I just don’t know where all the money goes.” It’s something I hear often, and it usually marks the starting point of real financial change. When we begin to look closely, the numbers often tell only part of the story. Beneath them are patterns, emotions, and habits quietly shaping how we use our money.
I remember working with a client who noticed that most of their unplanned spending happened on Friday evenings. It wasn’t about impulse or lack of discipline — it was about relief. After a demanding week, that takeaway or online order became a way to unwind and feel in control again, even if only for a moment. Once they recognised this, the goal wasn’t to stop spending altogether, but to understand what the spending was trying to soothe.
That small shift — from guilt to awareness — changes everything. It moves us from autopilot to choice. When we see the emotion underneath the action, we gain the power to respond differently. Instead of “I should be better with money,” it becomes “I see what’s happening here, and I can make a conscious choice.”
This is what I call building calm through clarity. Because real control doesn’t come from restriction; it comes from understanding. Many people assume financial control means cutting back, budgeting harder, or living with less. But clarity is what truly creates freedom — not having more rules, but having more awareness.
Another client once told me, “I finally know what’s coming in and going out each month — and I feel lighter.” Nothing major had changed in her circumstances. Her income and bills were the same. What changed was her energy. She had created a small, consistent rhythm that brought peace:
A quick weekly money check-in
Bills automated so she didn’t have to think about them
A small ‘joy budget’ to spend freely, without guilt
That’s all it took to replace chaos with calm.
If you’re on this journey yourself, start small. Don’t aim for perfection or total control. Pick one area of your money to get curious about. Maybe it’s those Friday evening takeaways, the online orders that “don’t count,” or simply where your salary disappears each month. Look with compassion, not criticism. Awareness always comes before action.
As you do, notice how it feels to simply know. To see clearly. Because often, clarity is the calm we were chasing all along.
So here’s something to reflect on this over your favourite beverage of choice:
When you look at your recent spending, what’s really happening underneath? Is it about the purchase itself — or the feeling it gives you?
That single question might be the most powerful financial tool you ever use.
If you’re often struggling to make financial decisions, it might be time to think about your money confidence. After all, if you’re always changing your mind and going back and forth over whether you should make that investment or lend that money or even just spend on something you want to spend, the anxiety isn’t good for you!
All you need here is a bit of money confidence – but that can feel a lot easier to say than it is to gain. But that’s where this post comes in. If you’re regularly paralysed by fear over what to do with your own money, it’s time to free yourself up and gain a bit of perspective over your financial situation. And here’s how to do just that!
The way you spend on a regular basis could be what’s making you feel so unconfident about money. If you’re getting in too many takeaways, for example, or you’re not filling up the piggy bank when you made a resolution to do so, are two habits that could easily tank your financial strength. And when it comes to making a difference, it’s these little things that really matter.
Get your bank statement out and see where the money is going. Identify all the problem areas, write them down, and then work out how much more money you’d have if you conquered the habit. Having that extra cash in the bank can make a big difference to the way you feel about your budget – it means there’s wiggle room there just in case something happens!
Sign Up to Money Support Groups
Plenty of people are in the same boat as you, and finding like-minded people is a good way to support yourself on this journey. So get online and look for financial support groups on platforms like Facebook or Twitter; people who are willing and able to offer a bit of advice or a nightly chat if you’re concerned about money.
You’re all coming from a place where your bank accounts have made you feel anxious, and it’s always comforting to realise you’re not alone! Money makes the world go round, and it can be incredibly isolating to think you’re the only one who doesn’t get it. Once you find out you’re not, your financial experience becomes less of a burden.
Take a Course
Dealing with money can be nerve wracking thanks to just how many different things you can do with it. And when you’re already lacking confidence in simply spending and/or saving the money you’ve worked hard to earn, it’s hard to face the idea of things like the stock market or investing in real estate, even if you want to try them out! And that’s why it might be time to learn how to handle these more involved wealth making methods.
If you’re curious about how your money could make money entirely on its own, you can take a course like that of https://idta.com.au/trading-coach/ to get to grips with the way trading works. You could also find plenty of video tutorials online, if taking an entire course isn’t your thing. As long as you’re doing a bit of research that’ll put your mind at rest about taking this kind of risk, you’ll be doing your financial health a favor in the long run.
Pad Out Your Savings Account
And finally, following on from all of this advice above, you might just want to start putting a few more pennies away. You can face anything when you know there’s a support net behind you, and a well stocked savings account is one of the best you can throw out there for yourself.
Start off small and slowly get bigger; it’s easier to put away $10 on the first week and $20 on the second than to try and budget putting away $100 in one go! Turn this into a habit you can actually commit to by using small increments like this – even if you can only manage a dollar right now, you’re still doing good for yourself by putting it where you’ll one day need it most!
If you’re often nervous when needing to deal with money, picking up a thing or two about handling your finances could go a long way in improving your money confidence. Don’t be afraid to talk about money matters, make sure you know your habits inside and out, and having a safety net to fall on never hurt anyone!
The concept is straightforward enough, you want to save a little each month and build up a fund that will be there for you to tap into in case of an emergency or that you can grow in order to get that house renovation done, a new car or the holiday of a lifetime.
But while, yes, it seems straightforward it appears that for some of us those good intentions of saving for the not-so-distant future are hard to turn into reality. But what is it that’s holding us back? What prevents us from saving for the things in life we really want? Perhaps it’s a lack of organisation, a problem that exists around our monthly budget or the fact that we always seem to find something better to spend our money on.
If you’re looking to make some changes in the way you manage money then you’ve come to the right place. In this article, we’re taking a look at how you can get yourself organised in your monthly outgoings and manage to start saving for those big things in life that seem so far out of your reach just now.
Image by Nattanan Kanchanaprat from Pixabay
The Dreaded Spreadsheet
You knew it would come to this, but if the idea of inputting all your incomings and outgoings into a spreadsheet bores you to tears or fills you with dread, then there are some far more user-friendly options out there to help keep track of your money.
We’re talking, of course, about apps and one of the best out there at the moment is Mint. You’ll find it helps you to set a monthly budget, see exactly where your money’s being spent and with a free sign-up, it’s far more satisfying than pouring over that Excel spreadsheet each month.
But yes, despite the more modern approach you are still tracking your finances and this is exactly where you need to start. Give yourself a long-term goal and simply spend the first two or three months getting used to tracking your money so you can figure out some of your spending patterns. You don’t need to change anything at this stage, this is the data gathering part of the process.
Analysis
When you do go back and take a look at where your money goes, you’ll begin to see some patterns emerging. Perhaps you spend the majority of your money at the beginning of the month and, what with your bills leaving at the same time, you’re left with very little spare cash for the last two weeks before payday.
You’ll also see what you’re spending your money on. That latte bought on your way to work every morning has, over three months, mounted up to quite a cost. This kind of analysis is worth going through to help you make some judgements and changes over how you ration your budget.
Finally, you’ll also be able to see all the direct debits and standing orders that are attached to your account. That insurance for a long ago expired laptop that still goes out or the expensive gym membership that never gets used, it’s a good time to make some changes and to see if there are any cancellations that might help you out. It will also give you the opportunity to shift around the dates that direct debits leave your account if that’s going to help you plan a little better.
Prioritise
Once you’ve analysed your spending, it’s time for the action part of the plan to get started. You’ll need to get to the point where you start prioritising. This might mean that you ditch the latte habit completely or set aside a budget for it where that weekly purchase becomes a once or twice a week treat instead.
You might think about dividing your budget up into several pots, including bills, essentials such as food and entertainment, including socialising and of course luxuries such as that latte.
Once you’ve found a natural rhythm for your outgoings, you’ll be in a great position to then add savings to that list.
What to Spend Your Money On
Once your savings are on their way then you’ll be able to think about what you’re saving for. We can’t recommend enough clearing your debts as a first priority. Not only will it free up your money in the long term, it will also help to improve your credit score. If you’ve been asking yourself How can improve my credit score? Then this is the very best way to make those changes.
Get those debts paid down and enjoy greater financial freedom. What you’re saving for is, of course, entirely down to you, as is the amount you’re able to put aside each month. Some experts believe in following the 50/30/20 rule where 20% of your income will go into your savings pot, 50% on the necessities and 30% on discretionary items.
If this works for you and if you have a fixed monthly income, then this can be a great method. Another equally as valid, though slightly more flexible approach is to set up a sweeper account. In this version anything that’s left in your account the day before payday or at a date you specify is swept into your savings account. It allows for those unexpected expenses, like a broken boiler and recognises that some months the savings are going to be minimal while other months there might be a lot more.
However you save and whatever you’re saving for is your choice but your active decision to begin managing money should be applauded. The difference you’ll make to your account with regular saving will seem minimal at first but you’ll be surprised at how quickly that small pot can grow. The sense of satisfaction, not to mention security you’ll feel is worth the effort of getting your accounts in order. Download an app, go through the process and add an extra layer of security to your finances.
